Momma-Drama

So tomorrow I will be exactly 36 weeks pregnant. Wow. I have been pregnant a whole 36 weeks, which is two hundred and freakin fifty-two days! It seems like only yesterday we had our miscarriage before getting blessed with this miracle.  I still grieve over that lose! And here I am, about to be a mother to a newborn all over again! In a way, I am excitied. I mean, who wouldn't be? Bringing another life into this world is an amazing experience, no matter how many times you  have been through it. However; I am skeptical. I am worried that I will not be the best mom that I should be to all three of my children. Will I make one feel neglected? How would I get everyone out in case of a house fire? Will one child become jealous because of  all the attention a newborn demands? All these thoughts and many more race throough my head nightly. I only know I can do my best and be the mother I know I can be. Yes, sometime's I lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes just to regain my cool. And yes, it is OK for my children to eat lucky charms for breakfast once or twice a week. No, my children can't count to 20 in Spanish, and yes, they still skip alot of letters in their ABC's. BUT, they are happy, healthy and at peace in our home. They have a full tummy everynight, they are in a warm house, they have shoes on their feet and they have people here who love them. That alone lets me know I am doing good now. I can only hope in these short few weeks that I have left with only being a mommy to two gives us a chance to bond even deeper, and let's them see no matter if mommy is busy feeding the baby or not, I will always be there mommy as well.